Oat Bran is Satan’s Fiber
- How is your new diet going?
- It was going fine till last week. I lost weight, got stronger, and felt great.
- What happened last week?
- I read that Oat Bran is Satan’s fiber.
- Satan who?
- Joke if you must. For me it robbed the appetite.
- How come?
- I stumbled over this:
Satan has so blatantly encoded his word into the health-food craze, revealing the terrible hoax in an obvious manner. Seek the message implicit in the words, O-A-T and B-R-A-N. Oat bran is certainly the greatest force in the popularization of health food. And strangely enough (or not) there is a hidden meaning. If one adds up the numeric values of the letters (A=1, B=2, C=3…Z=26), the message becomes clear.
O(15) + A(1) + T(20) = 36
B(2) + R(18)+ A(1) +N(14) = 36
- What is wrong with 36?
- It is not thirty-six, it is three sixes, or 666. The Devil’s number.
- And you take this nonsense seriously?
- Why shouldn’t I?
- Beats me! By the way, you may like this clip from Newsweek:
Woody Allen cuts his banana into seven slices each morning. Six slices, or eight, and something bad might happen. “I know it would be total coincidence if I didn’t slice it into seven pieces, and my family were killed in a fire,” he says. “I understand that there could be no correlation, but, you know, the guilt would be too much for me to bear, so it’s easier for me to cut the stupid banana.”
- Here is one that scares me even more than Oat Bran:
The worst superstition I had — and I’m told this is an Irish thing — is that I used to believe that worrying about something prevented it from happening. Conversely, if I didn’t worry about something, and it happened, it was my fault for not worrying.
February 24th, 2009 at 9:37 pm
These things are funny. Every great conspiracy ends in one of two ways – either satan did it or the pope did it – and numbers are always abused to make the point.